May 5th: Let the mockery begin!

Here I am lying in bed typing at 1am on what is technically May 6th in Ontario, because in my mind it's only 10pm.  But that's not going to stop the family from going to bed early.  Fortunately I got a little bit of time in before everyone hit the hay.  And it was just enough time to through in some teasing and mockery to remind me that I'm home.

I've been realizing more and more lately that I really don't know what the word 'home' means anymore.  Any time I head back to Ontario, I think to myself and probably even say out loud that I'm 'heading home'.  Which is true.  Except that Ontario really is not home anymore.  Vancouver is! I know that because after I've been in Ontario for too long, I really start missing 'home'.  Similarly when I haven't been to Ontario in a long time, I say the exact same thing.

But I think I know now what the source of the confusion is.  I think I define 'home' by where I can go to make fun and be made fun of.  That sounds extremely unhealthy, but hear me out.  Home to me is where I can go and be with the people I love dearly who I can make fun of and who can make fun of me, without affecting the love that we have for one another.  Obviously through any teasing feelings can get hurt now and then and we might like each other less for brief moments in time.  But the love is still there, and that love is what I think is home.

When I have these extreme emotional breakdowns of really missing my family and my brothers specifically, it's really that teasing and playfulness I miss.  The simultaneous loving, supporting, and mocking.  I get that with my friends in Vancouver which is why I feel so at home there (that plus the fact that I absolutely love my job), but sometimes it's the being with the family and the acknowledging how silly we all can be, and remembering how and why we came to be that way that I really really miss.

This is why it's so good to be 'home' right now!  Home with the family and getting back to my roots and comedic foundation.  ... I should remember to carry some paper and a pen around with me.  There could be some good material here.