Nov. 9th: Douchenozzles!

Have I ever mentioned how much I love my brothers???  Because I absolutely LOVE them.  They are quite possibly the funniest people I know and will ever know, because - let's face it - this bias is not going away any time soon.  I like to think I get my sense of humour from them, but I am also acutely aware that they are all 10 times funnier than I will ever be - and when you combine them together, their humour grows exponentially.  Suffice it to say that there were rarely any dull moments in the Chisholm household.  And like a fine wine, their hilarity has ripened with age.  At least that's the story I'm sticking to.  

The fact of the matter is that when I get a random message from any one of my brothers it makes me SOOO happy.  So when I started off my day with a whole string of texts from my eldest brother, I was beyond thrilled - even though it could have had the potential to turn ugly (as conversations between us can when we talk about the arts).  Fortunately for both of us, I'm not a douchenozzle.  

In order to do this story justice, I have to offer the first string of texts that I got and my reaction to each of them as they came in.  Reactions are bolded and italicized.  Here we go!

(9:20) JAMIE: Alison... I want you to know how much I love you... Even though you didn't respond to my happy birthday message. What?! I thought I responded. Oh well at least he still loves me. What a nice random message.

(9:21) JAMIE: Also... I think you're a very gifted theatre actress and comedian... However, if you want to know why I hate "performance artists" Oh crap!

(9:21) JAMIE: Just look up "the birth of baby x"... It's people like her that ruin it for all you other talented folk.      ??????

So as you may have guessed, I looked the birth of baby x and came across this article. Upon reading it, his frustrations made a LOT more sense.  I responded by letting him know that I looked up the story and confirmed that any rationalization that may have given for her giving birth as part of an art exhibit, went out the window upon realizing that her other performance arts pieces involved the re-enactments of losing her virginity, and her grandfather's funeral.  Call me old fashioned - but I believe that there's a reason why all of these events are generally kept private. 

After a little bit of back and forthing, Jamie then confessed that he didn't really know why he originally contacted me.  The only explanation he could give me was that he had been so enraged by the article that he needed to talk to someone in the art business who wasn't "a total douchenozzle".

Well Jamie - happy to be of service!  What an awesome way to start the day.  Thanks big brother!